Tonight, My Heart Aches

Last week was a roller coaster week. Paperwork that was sent several weeks ago for Apostilling at the State was lost - they had no record of receiving it. Then the paperwork was found, then things looked better, but the next day, things were not so good, then everything looked better and then, well, you get the picture.

We've been hoping and praying for a July court date and to that end, working on updating any documents expiring in June, July, or August. Diligently trying to dot all of our i's and cross all of our t's. In addition, we have been fundraising like mad (you can review previous posts). Although we are still short some funds, we have faith that we will have necessary funds by the time we travel in July.

Thursday evening, we had a conference call with our family coordinator and the director of our agency in Florida to make sure we were all on the same page. We set a plan to have all documents to our facilitator on Tuesday and they would be on their way to Russia the next day. We felt very encouraged after the meeting and hopeful we were still on track for a July court date.

We planned on starting to paint our Angel's room this weekend. It's been the spare room and after some of our fundraising, became a bit of a storage room. We decided it's time to get it in order. Remember, she picked out the colors she wanted. Honestly, it's taken us awhile to figure out how to combine the colors without making the room look like a circus.

And then, this afternoon, we received an email from our family coordinator and my heart sank. Although everything would be in Russia in time for us to get a court date in July, it will be difficult to get our visa invitations and our visas in time. Therefore, they are advising to push our court to August. I cannot tell you how this change impacts much of our plans, life, jobs, school, etc... for the fall. What a major disappointment! And what about our Angel? Is she going to think we don't love her? Will she be worrying that we are never coming back? Will her friends tease her and say "they aren't coming for you" Oh, my heart aches to hold her, hug her, and reassure her that we WILL come back to get her.

We have been praying and praying that everything would go smoothly here on out. When this type of "stuff" happens it is so difficult not to ask "God Why? Are we not worthy?Are we not ready? Are You telling us we should not adopt? What is it? What are we doing wrong? What aren't we doing right? I could go on questioning the rest of the night....................

I see myself as a glass half full, the skies are partly sunny, Pollyanna type. No matter what comes my way, I have to find something positive to latch onto (see Disappointment or Encouragement? and Ambiguity and a Little Pollyanna). Otherwise, I would probably not be able to get out of bed in the morning. My first reaction to this news was to go to bed until August. Of course, I can't really do that. But I have to figure out something positive about this delay or I will have difficulties getting through the days.

Now, I will go to bed and pray about this. I will pray that God will guide us in what we are to do and He will help us realize the positives of this delay rather than dwell on the negatives.

Thank you for allowing me to share the ups and downs of our adoption journey with you. Here is the scripture from my Bible Study Thursday evening - little did I know then how appropriate it would be tonight:

...there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"... I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.

Delighting in difficulties,
Elizabeth

And the Fundraising Goes On and On and On and On...

It has quite a while since I posted. Mainly because we have just been busy but also because my computer crashed! I never really realized what a creature of habit I am. My computer is set up just the way I like it. I have my bookmarks, my favorites, all my folders with all my stuff in them including photos, documents for the adoption, and other important stuff. But it CRASHED! I have been praying the auto back up worked prior to the nosedive! Apparently, the mother board died and it will cost around $400.00 to repair it. Well, that might as well be $1,000,000 - we just don't have it. And if we did, the money would go toward our adoption not my computer. I will just use my husband's old computer until we can figure out what we will do. Anyway, being without my computer has just sent me in a tizzy. Perhaps I should seek counseling - naw, just don't have the time these days.
Let's see, what have we been up to since the last post.

The end of May, we went to Orlando to meet up with some of the America World staff. It was nice to finally meet these wonderful people. I think a special bond develops between adoptive families and those who help them through the various stages of the adoption process. We also met some of the Florida families who are in various stages of adopting from Russia. I know many names from the blogs but again, nice to actually meet the real people. It was a great day.

The first week of June was our little Angel's birthday, we sent money to the facilitator in NN to buy her a gift and some goodies to share with the other children in the home. We heard all went well. I must admit, it broke our hearts not to be able to be with her on her birthday.

Last Saturday, the social worker was here for another home visit - our homestudy expires later this month - this was our 4th update. Hmm, I wonder if there is a record for this?

We are still fundraising, thus the title of this post. We really need to raise enough to get back to Russia before July 20 - apparently the judge will be going on a month-long vacation that day. We feel somewhat desperate to get the rest of the funds needed to travel. Here's information about our current fundraisers. Please check them out:

• Magazine Fundraiser – quit buying those magazines at the grocery store support our adoption by buying through us (you’ll also find the magazines are less expensive through our site) http://magfundraising.com.MurrayAdoption.
• Shop through our online mall site - you can shop at over 150 online stores and we receive a percentage of all purchases visit http://www.krymus.com/5361.
• Purchase photo prints, share photos with family, store photos, and create beautiful gifts at http://www.cmphotocenter.com This is similar to snapfish but easier. Be sure to use my CM ID #4529885 so we get credit toward our adoption fund.
• Are you into celebrating memories – visit my website at www.mycmsite.com/bethmurray for creative ways to share your memories. June Special: purchase $100.00 of product, have it direct shipped to your home, and you will receive a gift worth $25.00 Plus, you’ll support our adoption.
• Our chat group friend, Heather, set up a e-show for us at Usborne Books and More Usborne has educational and entertainment books for children of all ages. You can shop online through July 1, 2009 and your purchase will help us bring our Angel home.
• We are still working on our fundraiser website and will be updating it as new activities launch.

We are so grateful for the help we have received so far. We ask that you please keep us in your prayers and consider participating in some of our fundraisers. Our time is running out and we still need funds to be able to travel. We are on our knees praying and know that God will make a way.

A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25.

Praying Without Ceasing,
Elizabeth

For the Latest Fundraising Update....

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Today, is a wonderful day - we are feeling so encouraged! Our Benefit Dinner and Silent Auction was last night and we are thrilled to say it was a success!

We were concerned because we really did not have a great response to our invitations. We sent out over 125 and only received responses from 32 saying they would attend. Sadly, we did not meet the minimum of 50 that we needed and will have to pay extra for those tickets not purchased. However, the Crowne Plaza adjusted that number to 43 - which made it a little less painful. And some of those who could not attend, donated money which helped offset the unpaid for tickets.

We were amazed at the number of auction items that were donated such as gift certificates to restaurants, a hotel stay, tickets to a dinner theater, jewelry, several nice gift baskets, a week stay in a cabin in Tennessee, artwork, and more. The fact is, we had more donated items than we had people attending.

We were not sure how the evening would go. On the way there, Don drove and I prayed out loud most of the trip. We prayed that proceeds from our silent auction would cover the tickets not paid for as well as provide substantial funds for the adoption.

Well, I have to say the evening was great. We had a nice dinner, the food was exquisite. Everyone seemed to have fun with the silent auction - several bidding wars were going on during dinner! Everything in the auction sold except 2 items! Amazing! We have some photos and we will share those later this week.

This morning we calculated the cost of the event and what we made on the auction; we made over $1200.00 after all expenses! I am thrilled! My goal was to hit $5,000 by the end of May! Yippee - we made it and then some!

Thank you everyone who has prayed for us and/or donated to help us - you have helped get closer to bringing our Angel home. We are so grateful!

Praising the Lord,
Elizabeth

Wrapping Things Up!

We have been quite involved with our fundraising and updating our homestudy. I have to admit, fundraising can be a lot of work and not always as productive as we hope. But then I have to remind myself that it is more than just raising money. Every fundraiser we've done has resulted in meeting wonderful people and learning great lessons. Don and I have also learned to really work together. There is no way either of us could do all this alone.

Here are some photos of our house preparing for my scrapbooking open house, boxing up the flowerbulbs from our flowerbulb fundraiser, and organizing items for our silent auction Saturday, May 16. Actually, it was total chaos for a day or so! And it will be chaotic again with all the silent auction items - but we are not complaining!

The scrapbooking open house was very nice. Not as many people came as I hoped but we were still able to add some money to our adoption fund. Both fundraisers went quite well, you can see the thermometer is almost to $4,000! We were hoping to make it to $5,000 by the end of the month. We are praying without ceasing!

Now, all we have to worry about is our benefit dinner and silent auction. We've had some great donations but not many have sent in their RSVP; we are praying it will be a great success.

Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to work toward bringing our Angel home.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29:12

Faithfully,

Elizabeth

Disappointment or Encouragement?

We heard last week, that we were not approved for an adoption grant. We were very disappointed until this week when we heard that we were not approved for two more grants! Disappointment just doesn't explain how we felt. In fact, I am still not sure how to explain the feeling - much more than disappointment - hopeless, powerless - asking ourselves over and over why? Wondering, how are we going to get our Angel home?

My first thought was to climb back into bed and just forget about the day/week/month. But then I realized something. All three agencies stated they had so many grant applications that they could not fund all of them. Wow! Do you realize what that means? It means that many many families are adopting right now! How encouraging is that!

How could I be so selfish to only think about us and our situation? It is not about me or us! It is all about obeying God and glorifying God in all we do including adoption.

Our situation will right itself when it is time - God's time. I have to constantly remind myself that God already knows when we will bring our Angel home, we must be faithful, and we have to have faith!

One thing is for sure, our little Angel will NEVER question the fact that she was wanted!
Thanks for following our journey,
Elizabeth