Well, the 12 months before we bring home our Angel will be forever known as the year of lasts. The last:
- Valentine's Day without our little girl
- Mother's Day without our little girl
- Father's Day without our little girl
- Independence Day without our little girl
- Labor Day without our little girl
- Thanksgiving without our little girl
- Christmas without our little girl
- New Year's without our little girl
I know that anyone who has gone through infertility treatments and/or adoption know what I am talking about. Every holiday has been difficult. I guess I have to blame my mother for that. She always made holidays special. She would bake cookies and/or make jello with marshmallows for holidays. I can remember getting home from school on Valentine's Day and having heart shaped cookies with pink frosting waiting on the table. I also remember shamrock shaped coookies with green frosting for St. Patrick's Day and green jello with marshmallows. I do hope to carry on those special traditions as a mom.
For years, I have not been able to face church or go out to eat on Mother's Day. It always seemed like I just didn't fit in. A very painful day for me. It has also been difficult for me to go to baby showers - as happy as I have been for my friends who were pregnant, it was also very painful. I am older now and haven't even considered pregnancy for the past ~10 years. My focus has been more on adoption than experiencing pregnancy.
Sometimes I just find it hard to believe we have come this far in the adoption process. It seemed we would never get to this point. Again, I have to keep reminding myself that it is in God's timing not mine.
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 2 Peter 3:8
Blessings,
Elizabeth
